Life is hard. A lot of people think if we love Jesus Christ, life should be easier. More money. More success. More comforts. More entitlement. “King’s kid,” right? Why should life ever be hard?
Life is still hard. Sometimes harder. I’m not perfect. I make tons of mistakes. I struggle with the same things other people do. I don’t always get it right. With Christ in me, I have everything I need to live a godly life, yet… The difference is He changes and transforms my heart daily. Everyday I’m becoming more like Him because of His grace to forgive my wrong choices. He’s my Comforter, my Shelter, the perfect Father whose love is boundless and beyond measure. Like a child in His arms, I find freedom from myself.
Here’s an excerpt from my recently released book Grace to be Free:
“I spent years wondering why my life took the direction it did. The choices I made were my own.
“I blamed friends and family for spiritual attacks. I held them liable for any and all demonic oppression in my life. We moved away from what I thought to be the source of my oppression… But that’s just geography. I inwardly started accusing my parents. It had to be them!
“Once again, I needed to escape. At sixteen, God brought me to Liberty University: a fresh start, surrounded by others who want to live their lives for Jesus was the safest place to find freedom! Or so I thought. I began to question Christianity altogether. I questioned everything! The only thing I knew was that God loved me, and I could count on Him.
“With unmet expectations of what a Christian should be, I judged most people as hypocrites, play-acting religion for selfish gain. As my spiritual oppression took a darker turn, I blamed everyone who claimed the name ‘Christian.’
“Day and night. Twenty-four hours around the clock. Overwhelming spiritual tyranny intensified. Confronted. Challenged. Climaxed. But, despite it all, Truth remained, fought its way to my heart. Jesus Christ, my one constant, my Rock. finally, brought me to my knees. And I realized, all I had left to blame was me.
“As I look back now, I realize all those who I blamed were just as broken as I was. God’s grace is needed by all. None of us can walk away from ourselves and the bondage we carry. We can’t outrun it. There’s nowhere to hide. No one falls outside the need for Jesus.
“For so long, I relied on my strength, only to find my weakness. I looked to my own understanding based on life’s experience to sustain daily living, only to realize I had it all wrong.”
I will say this: as I look back on my life now, the choices I made break my heart today. BUT if it wasn’t for all that took place, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am today either. If I didn’t know the pain from life’s circumstances or the heartache from many of my poor choices, I wouldn’t understand the depth of Christ’s grace and redemption for me like I do now.
And I’m still learning.